Election Grief

November 10, 2016


Denial. Bargaining. Anger. Depression. Acceptance.

I am grieving. Yesterday I took lots of naps, ate macaroni and cheese and cookies, and started lots of fist fights on Grand Theft Auto.

While I am disappointed that President-Elect Donald Trump will be my next president, I am more upset by my peers who supported him throughout this season. You have disappointed me. Yes, I actually mean you…as an individual. You – the former classmates, the former coworkers, the people I’ve danced with, the landlords, the clients, the Facebook friends. You. I understand that we all are entitled to vote for whomever we’d like, but somehow I thought my relationship with you was enough to consider my rights as a human being.

Perhaps you will say I was naïve to think that as a black woman living in the United States. You’re probably right.

When I was growing up and older people in my family talked about how bad white people had treated them, at that time I considered myself fortunate that I didn’t have their experiences. I thought their stories were outdated. A white person had never called me a nigger to my face. A white person had never sexually assaulted me. A white person never told me where I could not go because of my skin color. If anything, I had more privileges that many of the white people I knew. I went to private schools, graduated from one of the best in the country, I traveled the world, I represented the country in an international tap dance competition, I graduated from college, I earned a Master’s degree, and I had the luxury of working as a journalist. Because of these experiences, I now have a diverse group of Facebook “friends.”

I saw many of my Facebook friends outraged when black people were getting shot and killed live on television. They tried to remind you that “Black Lives Matter.” Instead, you ignored us and retaliated by saying “Blue Lives Matter” or “All Lives Matter,” never actually acknowledging our hurt. Others of you remained silent. Over time, the “Blue Lives Matter” people, the “All Lives Matter” people, and the silent people changed their motto to “Vote for Trump.”

Because many of us have watched debates together on Facebook, I know that we have seen Trump say extremely racist and sexist things…together…at the same time. So when I saw you on my timeline supporting Trump, that became the moment you called me a “nigger.” At that moment, I learned about you. I learned that you supported racism. I learned that you supported sexism. I learned that you thought that your life was more valuable than my life. Whatever the reason was that you voted for Trump, it was more important than my rights, the rights of Hispanics, the rights of Muslims, women’s rights, the rights of immigrants and of those in the LGBT community.

While I thought it was crazy that many of you who supported Trump were women and were the descendants of immigrants, I guess in hindsight, I could not expect you to be concerned about my rights, if you weren’t concerned about your own. You were so concerned about “protecting our border” and lowering your insurance premiums that you were willing to give up your own rights. You were also gung-ho about denying other people the same opportunities that your families had as immigrants.

“But Clinton is a criminal…the emails!” The FBI cleared Clinton of the scandals twice. Also, the fact that you are ignoring Trump’s numerous racial discrimination charges and sexual assault charges shows me where you place your priorities.

And to the black people that voted for Trump, y’all have got to start reading some history books and spending time with your grandparents, or someone else’s black grandparents. Seriously.

What’s most disturbing to me are my Christian brothers and sisters who voted for Trump. I’m also troubled by those of you who are staying silent. Why are you not speaking out all the hate that s being communicated?

Jesus didn’t save your life for you to be silent. He didn’t give you gifts, so you could stay silent. He didn’t save you to just help people inside of your church. Jesus was out there telling the truth to the crowds in a loving, yet honest way.

Jesus was love. Jesus IS Love. Jesus was inclusive. Jesus loved people who were different from him. Jesus was not a racist. He afforded all people the opportunity of salvation. Jesus stood up for women. Jesus was an immigrant. Why are you not standing up for people? Where is your full armor of God? Where are you?

Christians, it’s great that you’re telling everyone to pray. I prayed before I wrote this. However, it’s time for you to get out of your prayer closets and do God’s work. You cannot hide in your war rooms any longer. You cannot hide in your churches any longer. You cannot hide behind your pastor any longer. There are people out in the world who need us. When you got saved, you signed up to be a soldier for Christ…to spread his messages of love and to protect one another – believers AND unbelievers.

This morning, when I was reading my Bible, I realized that Pilate sentenced Jesus to death because he asked the crowd what to do with Jesus and they said “Kill Him!” There was no mention of Christians speaking up in that crowd. Imagine if the Christians shouted louder to let Him live?

God has not called us to be quiet. God has not called us to be lukewarm. God has called us to love loudly. We need more Davids and less Peters.

Because I’ve learned so much during this season, I know many of our relationships will change. I probably won’t say anything to you right now, because my emotions are still raw. But eventually, I will move past this, with God’s help, and I will stop fighting fake people on video games. And as far as Trump being my president, I am optimistic that he will exceed my expectations. I’m hoping that you will do the same.

More about Stacy

On this blog, I’m sharing some of my personal memories of pain, shame and embarrassment. Hopefully they help you in some way.

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